The Queen Confuses Birthday with Christmas

Queen Elizabeth II has finally succumbed to her tender age of 83 as she commemorated her own birthday with a Christmas speech. Buckingham Palace has yet to offer an explanation why the speech was allowed onto the Royal YouTube channel, but it has confirmed that the Queen's strong and determined feelings played a major part in its existence.

Royal observers in the UK, indeed across the world, has speculated about the mental health of Queen Elizabeth since the clip appeared on the popular video site.  The speech is similar to the one the Queen gave in December last year as her proper Christmas message, where she praised the bravery of the armed forces and offered sympathies to everyone suffering at the hand of the financial recession. 

The news of Queen Elizabeth's apparent confusion comes as clips showing Her Majesty giving Prince William dance lectures to the sound of the Chemical Brothers has emerged from within the palace. The immediate Royal family has now gathered to celebrate the Queen's birthday, but to also to sit her down for a cup of tea and a serious chat, a spokesman reports.

Jordan Reveals Anger And More In Ibiza

Newly-divorced Jordan - AKA Katie Price - has travelled to Spanish party island Ibiza to escape ex-huby Pete Andre. While there, the glamour model fitted in a photo shoot which saw the 31-year-old mother strip down to a slinky bikini and posing in the hot Mediterranean waves.


At one shoot, Katie saw a Daily Star journalist who Price mistook for one of Andre's employees and she confronted the reporter with a manic look in her eyes and said: "I'm gonna cut your f****** face. I swear to god I'll f****** cut you".

Ronaldo Leaves Manchester For Paris

It's the couple of the decade, the one everyone is gossiping about - did they or didn't they? It appears they did. Ronaldo has confessed that the couple spent most of last Tuesday's night playing Scrabble. The infamous duo - one part world class footballer, one part world class heiress - was seen leaving a Las Vegas night club together, and then...no one knows! Until now. 

We can exclusively reveal Ronaldo and Hilton went back to her hotel room to duel in a fair and square game of Scrabble. Who won? Close sources to the hot pair tells us it was a draw and that the pair quickly moved onto a game of strip poker.

Sir Alan Is Hired, Not Fired

In political twist worthy of legend, Prime Minister Gordon Brown has bought in to the concept of one of the most popular shows on British television - The Apprentice. Yes it's true, Brown has hired Suralan Sugar. The business mogul responsible for setting up Amstrad has been appointed enterprise adviser.

In a truly inspired move, PM Brown made the decision only days after Sugar's hugely appreciated TV show ended, thus tapping into the mind of thousands of Britons, while drawing their attention away from the bubbling Expenses Scandal. 

A Downing Street source said: "The Prime Minister wants the best business brains in the country to help put Britain back on the road to economic recovery. He's delighted Sir Alan has agreed to help play a leading part in his business and enterprise strategy."

How The Expenses Scandal Played Out In The No. 10 Bunker

Mylene Klass Told To Blonde Up

Reality show winner turned M&S model Mylene Klass has been told by US show business bosses to dye her hair blond and to wear blue contact lenses if she wants to break America. The brunette and brown-eyed beauty who made her name by wearing a white bikini on I'm a Celebrity - Get Me Out Of Here, is deemed a shade too dark for the notoriously difficult audience across the pond.

Klass, who also has a CD of classical music on her resumé, originally came to fame as one-fourth of Popstar winners Hear'Say. As the band lost popularity, Klass descended into obscurity, only to regain adoration in the white bikini she wore on Ant and Dec's jungle show. Her new-found fame propelled her into several lucrative Marks & Spencer ads and TV presenting jobs.

But the classic beauty has now run into problems again. The solution is, according to telly executives, a more blonde appearance. They allegedly want her to loose the dark locks in favour of light-coloured curls and blue eyes, which the US audience can relate to. A Mylene Klass spokesman said the star has already booked a hair dressing appointment...

LiLo swaps SamRo for Rihanna

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson always enjoyed a stormy relationship, breaking up more times than Prince played the 02 Arena last year. Now, the emotional toll seems to have taken its final scalp; LiLo is rumoured to have left Mark Ronson's kid sister for good.

And who better to take a bite out of than Rihanna, the newest addition to the lesbian jetset. Since the Umbrealla singers very public spat and split from fellow R'n'B artist Chris Brown, Rihanna has allegedly spent quality time with Lohan. Meanwhile, Samantha's busy DJ schedule has kept her away for weeks on end. Rihanna, 21, split from Brown four months ago, and discovered her new sexual orientation while hanging out with notorious party girl Lohan.


Industry insiders spotted Rihanna's infatuation with Lohan months ago and only saw her newly cropped haircut and growing lesbian fan base as clear signs of her true feelings towards both Brown and Lohan.